By Nily Glaser of A-wedding Day
When we first got married my husband and I played a game. Each of us wrote down what emotional characteristics we should nurture throughout our married life. The results both of us agreed upon were:
- Unconditional love
- warmth and tenderness
- Expressing tender feelings
- Giving and receiving love.
We are all very busy. Our days, weeks months and years are filled with many obligations and responsibilities that are demanding of our time and energy. From work, house keeping, child rearing and volunteering even to socializing, our calendar is full. Yet we make sure to devote special time for each other. It does not have to be a large block of time. A phone call during the day just to say “I love you”, “I miss you” or “I was thinking about you”” or placing a love note in your spouse’s car does not take much time yet warms the heart. PRAISE, COMPLIMENT AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER It does not take but a moment to share kind words, compliments praise and encouragement. Yet they are very important to a great relationship. Both my husband and I have and will continue to tell each other how grateful, how fortunate, how lucky and how fulfilled we feel for having the other as our partner in life. Yes! Marrying my husband was and still is the best thing that ever happened to me. We find opportunities for sentiments such as:
- You look great..
- I really like your…,
- am proud of you for…,
- Your idea is terrific. You should pursue it.
- Thanks for your input it really helps.
- I am glad I asked for your opinion.
- You make my life complete.
- What would I do without you?
- DO THINGS TOGETHER It is always fun to be together. So find things that both of you can participate in and do them together. Whether it is entertainment or household chores, visiting or going on vacation nothing can bring you closer than sharing and being with one another.
Just as doing things together is crucial to a great marriage, it is also crucial to remember that occasionally we all need our own space. Do not always hang around. Allow your spouse his or her own space.
- DO FOR EACH OTHER It is expected that married couples will remember and celebrate each other on special occasions such as birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. Ours happens to be easy to remember as we got married on the 4th of July. But the beauty and warmth of a surprise exceeds them all. Small and large gestures done without fanfare say, “I love you and think of you.” And ““you are important to me”. Here again, you do not have to be rich to surprise each other as acts of kindness go a long way. showing interest and participating in what is important to your mate. Take Dianna for example. She does not particularly enjoy going to the movies. Yet, she surprised her husband Dan when she took him to a movie he mentioned he would like to see.
Neither my husband nor I ever surprised the other with a diamond ring or a new car sitting in the driveway. We just do little things for each other, sometimes serious sometimes humorous, but always with love. In fact, just yesterday my husband walked in with a lovely bonsai tree in a planter and said: “When I saw this beautiful little tree I thought of you and how much you’ll enjoy it.”
Put on your thinking cap and come up with ideas that will please your mate and reflect your love.
Take your mate on a surprise day outing just for enjoyment.
Set a special dinner table and if you have no children light candles for a romantic atmosphere.
Bring home a box of candies, a bottle of wine or champagne, a dessert your spouse likes a book he or she will enjoy, a movie to watch together.Or how about a bonsai tree?.
- Bring your spouse a stuffed animal, a piggy bank for the laundry room for loose change that falls out of pockets, a flower or even just a card
- Surprise your spouse with a new outfit or sexy lingerie and he will cherish the moment.
- Prepare a bubble bath for your unsuspecting wife complete with romantic candles and she will thank you for your thoughtfulness.
- Warm your spouse’s car on a cold morning.
- Share in doing the chores.
You know what your spouse will enjoy and appreciate. Use your imagination and surprise him or her.
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