First come the obvious. If the children or grandchildren are not grown ups, they should be given the duties of a Flower Girl(s) or Boy(s) and Ring Bearer(s). That is right! You may have more than one flower child and more than one ring bearer.
I bet you wonder why I did not say Flower Girl. This is because a boy can be a flower child just as a girl can be a ring bearer. You may also have the children ask the guests to sign the guest book and lead the guests to their seats. If you have teen age or older children, you can honor them by having the son(s) walk the bride and / or the daughter(s) walk the groom down the aisle. The son can be either the bride’s or the groom’s and so can the daughter be.
Include your children in the wedding party as attendants.
Children who are old and responsible enough, should participate in the Unity Candle ceremony. Here there are a few options.
If only one or two children are involved, they should be given their own tapers and join the bride and groom in lighting the pillar candle.
However, if more than two children are involved, they should receive their own tapers but rather than light the pillar candle, light their tapers from it.
The candle lighting ceremony is a perfect opportunity for children who are old enough to congratulate the bride and groom and acknowledge the new family union. However, doing so must be their choice generated by their own initiative.
Susan & Bill
A friend who recently got married told us about the Unity Candle ceremony at her wedding. She had ordered a personalized pillar candle and five personalized tapers for the children from Candles By Nily and gave each child a personalized taper.
The ceremony was actually a Family Unity Ceremony. All five children (his two and her three), all above 10 years old, wrote a congratulation and thank you note to the bride and groom. Once the Unity Candle was lit, they took turns lighting their tapers from the pillar and surprised the bride and groom when in unison they recited the following:
“As I light my candle from the Unity Candle, I feel the warmth, love and excitement of my new, larger family. Thank you Susan (can be substituted with BRIDE’S NAME or MOM or MOTHER) and Bill (can be substituted with GROOM’S NAME or DAD or FATHER) for having given me an extended family to love and be loved by. Congratulations! I love you!”
It was such a touching experience that there wasn’t a dry eye in the room!
Right after the Family Unity Candle ceremony, Susan and Bill exchanged their first gifts as a husband and wife and gave each of the children a personalized Family Unity Ring, available at A-wedding Day, and a BIG welcome hug.
” width=”120 height=”120″ /> Engraved Blending Family Unity Ring”[/caption]
Susan and Bill engraved the 3 in 1 ring as follows:
Band 1 Child’s Name
Band 2 Love Mom & Bill (for Susan’s kids) and Love Dad & Susan (for Bill’s kids)
Band 3 The Wedding Date.
Rachel and Tony
added a touch of their own to the ceremony.
After the unity candle ceremony they had the Best man hand them a silk rope akin to the one used as a curtain tie. The bride and groom tied the first knot and each child added a knot. The knotted rope was later placed in a shadow box with the candles, sixpence, glass slipper, hankie, and tiaras.
Another way to bestow honor to a teen age or older child is to have a son walk the bride and / or a daughter walk the groom down the isle. The son can be either the bride’s or groom’s and so can the daughter be.
The reception offers as many opportunities for involving the children as there is imagination. There are also the obvious toasts, dances, special responsibilities and tasks.
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Nily Glaser is the CEO of A-wedding Day, (Please hyperlink) to: http://www.a-weddingday.com.
She retired school principal and a published author. Nily Glaser writes important articles, and has presented workshops for parents and wedding professionals all over the USA.
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