And there are December couples who often have
children and grandchildren.
This article is dedicated to couples that will
have a "blended" family once they are married.
That is, children will have a new parent and
possibly new siblings.
Many, though not all marrying or re-marrying
couples are looking for ways to integrate the
children into the wedding ceremony and / or
reception in such a way that it will become a
Family Wedding.
Some people wonder why should a wedding not be
dedicated to the bride and groom alone. Why should
it not be "Their Day"?
There are two main reasons. One of the reason is
that children need reassurance. They need to know
that they are welcome and wanted by both parents
and new siblings.
The other, not less important, is that parents
WANT their children to be an integral part of the
wedding and celebration.
We at A-wedding Day are often asked to suggest
ways to involve the children in their parent(s)
wedding.
The following are ideas, implementation of which
depends on the ages / abilities of the children
and the degree of involvement the marrying couple
wishes to dedicate to them.
Children must always feel that they are IMPORTANT
especially now, when their parent is marrying a new life partner.
LET'S BEGIN WITH PLANNING AND PREPARATION.
Children who are old enough should be asked to put
on their thinking caps and help with the wedding
planning and preparations. Their input should
always be taken into consideration and if possible
acted upon.
Children can make recommendations ranging from
wedding themes to color schemes.
They can suggest favors and help make them. Some
parents even let the children help address
envelops and / or stuff them.
It is also very important to make shopping for the
wedding attire a family affair.
WE'LL CONTINUE WITH THE CEREMONY
First come the obvious. If the children or
grandchildren are not grown ups, they should be
given the duties of a Flower Child and Ring
Bearer.
During the ceremony, after the bride and groom
exchange vows, they may integrate vows dedicated
especially to the children.
Children who are old and responsible enough,
should participate in the Unity Candle ceremony.
Here there are a few options.
If only one or two children are involved, they
should be given their own tapers and join the
bride and groom in lighting the pillar candle.
However, if more than two children are involved,
they should receive their own tapers but rather
than light the pillar candle, light their tapers
from it.
The candle lighting ceremony is a perfect
opportunity for children who are old enough to
congratulate the bride and groom and acknowledge
the new family union.
A friend who recently got married told us about
the Unity Candle ceremony at her wedding. She had
ordered a personalized pillar candle and seven
personalized tapers from Candles By Nily and gave
each child a personalized taper.
The ceremony was actually a Family Unity Ceremony.
All five children (his two and her three), all
above 10 years old, wrote a congratulation and
thank you note to the bride and groom. Once the
Unity Candle was lit, they took turns lighting
their tapers from the pillar and in unison,
recited the following:
"As I light my candle from the Unity Candle, I
feel the warmth, love and excitement of my new,
larger family.
Thank you Susan (BRIDE'S NAME or MOM or MOTHER)
and Bill (GROOM'S NAME or DAD or FATHER) for
having given me an extended family to love and be
loved by. Congratulations! I love you!
It was such a touching experience that there
wasn't a dry eye in the room!
Right after the Family Unity Candle ceremony,
Susan and Bill exchanged their first gifts as a
husband and wife and gave each of the children a
personalized Family Unity Ring, Available at A-wedding
Day, and a BIG welcome hug.
Susan and Billengraved the 3 in 1 ring as follows:
Ring 1 To child's name
Ring 2 With Love
Ring 3 Wedding Date.
Another way to bestow honor to a teen age or older
child is to have a son walk the bride and / or a
daughter walk the groom down the isle. The son can
be either the bride's or groom's and so can the
daughter be.
The reception offers as many opportunities for
involving the children as there is imagination.
There are also the obvious toasts, dances, special
responsibilities and tasks.
******************************************************************
Nily Glaser is the founder of A-wedding Day,
http://www.a-weddingday.com/
a very popular Wedding Resource and Information Center, and a
Discount Shopping Mall for wedding gifts, supplies
and bridal accessories. She is also the publisher
of the free A-wedding Day newsletter.
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